Day 4 of the 31 Day Community Bootcamp

It is not too late to join the Bootcamp! If you want to catch up or start fresh, just visit to download the PDF and follow along!

Today’s assignment is one of THE most important steps on your way to better Community Culture. Take a pen to paper and identify three people in three different levels of relational proximity to you. Make sure that you don’t count immediate family, and try your best to keep the list targeted at your church family.

Day 4 of the 31 Day Community Bootcamp

This exercise is based on Jesus’ life. Jesus had three disciples, Peter, James, and John, who were clearly his best friends. They saw Him transfigured into the fullness of His glory in Matthew 17. Then, Jesus had his 12 disciples, who were intentionally selected to walk closely with Him for 3 years. They shared every meal together and knew Jesus and His teaching better than anyone else. Then, Jesus had a group of 72 that he trusted with the message of the New Kingdom that had come to Earth. In Luke 10, we see this trusted group sent out two by two.

The point is, even Jesus knew there were limitations to the amount of relational closeness He could share with his 33 years living as the God/Man. If he had different levels of relationships, then there is a good chance that we are to have varying levels of relationships in our lives as well. The goal is not to be best friends with everyone in your church, but rather utilize the relational opportunities in front of you to the best of your ability and for the advancement of the Gospel.

     Here is how you do that: 

  1. Identify someone in your inner circle: 1-5 People with whom you have no secrets. 
  2. Identify someone in your second-tier circle: An additional 10-15 People who you would consider close friends. People in this tier have earned your trust.  
  3. Identify someone in your third-tier circle. An additional 50-75 people. I identify people in this tier as those with whom I can pick up where I left off. I could have seen them yesterday or a year ago, but our relationship can just keep moving forward without blame or awkward silences. 

     There are more tiers to explore, but the first two tiers take up an average of 75% of your time. Relationships take time, and as you move away from the inner circle, your capacity for managing friendships diminishes drastically. 

The good news is, most people I have interviewed in the Church have room for more people in the first or second tier of friendships. Why not identify those people and begin to pray for those spots to be filled by people from your church?

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